Hello there my kittens.... how does this fine day/evening find you? (I don't actually care but I know if I affect to give a flying/flaming/generally flamboyant turd I will appear a nicer person than I actually am, something I so not bother with most of the time)
Well then shall we tally ho about me?
YES. we shall.
Monday was an interesting day on many levels like a wedding cake. Of course if you read me faithfully me like a good little kitten ought to then you should know I'm a hula-hoop dancer amongst many other things that will get me absolutely no where in life. Every Monday night I attend Hong Kong Jugglers, a club here in the gorgeous and insane city of HK...
Blue J & Average came with me and took photos with big pretentious cameras with tripods. Then we were awfully artsy and sat around reading poetry and generally hating on the world. It is interesting to sit around on the ground with too much eyeliner and a slightly out of tune guitar when you are surrounded by approx 20 carnies with spinny lights and gaudy attitudes. Love.
Average, Blue J and I then went to hit up some raw fish languishing on rice, other wise known as japanese food... although we ended up consuming some jubilatory beverages. Average then went home, after more revelry, and Blue J and I went to the pier... where I threw a shoe with gusto. It was eight meters of gusto.
Yes, my kittens I have impressive toes, when I work them to their uttermost potential.
I have more to tell, and wittier to be, but I really must fly as I've got some serious... herbal essence to attend to.
So long, my kittens...
Turrah.
Jhonnie Cat
Wednesday 29 April 2009
Monday 20 April 2009
Please Sir, Can I Have Some Whore?
Well if that title didn't get your attention then you need to either masturbate or read Charles Dickens.
My apologies for being a little crude there, but I bet you're reading this now, eh?
So then my kittens, as you may remember I was most aggravated at Serpeinte for his misconduct. If you have a truly fantastic memory, or ability to scroll down, then you may recall that I was actually ultimately glad of his being somewhat evil as it means I have an easy excuse for booting his ruddy behind.
Its all due to my Stickyfinger-Sister, who is possibly the most legendary Asian to have ever graced the earth wit her presence. Yes, my kittens, this is getting hyperbolic.
Let me set the scene, dears.
I'm incredibly aggravated at my then beau, for aforementioned rudeness. Stickyfinger-Sister and Glinda know this, Glinda being a fabulously intelligent individual she prodded me forth to break it off. I should remember next time that Glinda is always right. Stickyfinger-Sister lives on a separate island from Hong Kong, one that is a ferry ride away.
I had a job the Wednesday before the Easter break, a Spa add. (if you have me on face book, I should have it up). During the photo shoot my phone goes all out of wack and I can't exactly wrangle my spasmodic popularity into comprehension when my face is being lit and prodded by the wrath of a thousand Q-tips. So I continued contorting my visage into postures of relaxation and, truth be told, extreme need of caffeine. (I do not actually relax when lacking in coffee, in fact I start to gradually hate the world as I vibrate in quietly withdrawn rage... and I also loose the ability to jig)
My phone continues to shudder like me contemplating cellulite. Mystery....
The male model a worked with, Bow (only he knows why this nick name), very kindly offered to pay for the cab back from the shoot and so, rummaging for my phone I see that Stickyfinger-Sister has called.
When I returned her communication, I was slapped over the ears with a wall of exited sound.
"JHONNIE CAT! I FOUND SOMEONE PERFECT FOR YOU!" Her face bellows. In our dialect of spinglacantarinish (Spanish/Cantonese/mandarin/English, a language I'm fairly certain only she and I can understand) we discuss this person. I'm going to call him "Old Soul" on this blog. The primary description that gets repeated time and time again, and later by other people, is that he is me with a penis.
I said, ME with a PENIS.
I write a condescending blog all about myself, my life, my friends, and how much me me me there is to go around. In case you haven't realized I am a narcissist.
Please proceed to put two and two together. Or in this case, One and One.
Can I get a hell yeah from any random member of the audience?
You can better you're bottom dollar (and your buttock penny) I ditched Serpiente as fast as Nokia would allow.
...
So the next day my lovely sister introduces us. We meet in the timeless domain of Balalaika LKF, and I must say I agree with Stickyfinger-Sister on her reaction. Bless that girl to bits. Its gotten to the point I don't really need to ask if this or that is a favourite or not with Old Soul.
I had a very long discussion with Stickyfinger-Sister about why I had nicknamed him Blue Jay (in general, not on this blog) - that being because "Blue " = slightly dark or distressed people are more interesting and also J being a letter of relevance.
Although its been settled on some thing else, obv.
...
On another note, a Tramp, Slut, Coquette, Whore, ect. is defined by a female who takes other peoples mates or has more than one at the same time. I realize I've been skirting from both males and females rather quickly but I should like to add this.
None of them had significant others to any degree, never more than one at the same time.
Flower once redefined 'slut' as : 'a woman with the morals of a man'. I'm not sure weather this is right or not. I'd better ask Glinda.
On another note again (thus completing a rather nice chord), I've started my fourth book having finished the first three. Having a Muse again is wonderful.
That's all for now, my kittens. More later.
Turrah.
Jhonnie Cat.
My apologies for being a little crude there, but I bet you're reading this now, eh?
So then my kittens, as you may remember I was most aggravated at Serpeinte for his misconduct. If you have a truly fantastic memory, or ability to scroll down, then you may recall that I was actually ultimately glad of his being somewhat evil as it means I have an easy excuse for booting his ruddy behind.
Its all due to my Stickyfinger-Sister, who is possibly the most legendary Asian to have ever graced the earth wit her presence. Yes, my kittens, this is getting hyperbolic.
Let me set the scene, dears.
I'm incredibly aggravated at my then beau, for aforementioned rudeness. Stickyfinger-Sister and Glinda know this, Glinda being a fabulously intelligent individual she prodded me forth to break it off. I should remember next time that Glinda is always right. Stickyfinger-Sister lives on a separate island from Hong Kong, one that is a ferry ride away.
I had a job the Wednesday before the Easter break, a Spa add. (if you have me on face book, I should have it up). During the photo shoot my phone goes all out of wack and I can't exactly wrangle my spasmodic popularity into comprehension when my face is being lit and prodded by the wrath of a thousand Q-tips. So I continued contorting my visage into postures of relaxation and, truth be told, extreme need of caffeine. (I do not actually relax when lacking in coffee, in fact I start to gradually hate the world as I vibrate in quietly withdrawn rage... and I also loose the ability to jig)
My phone continues to shudder like me contemplating cellulite. Mystery....
The male model a worked with, Bow (only he knows why this nick name), very kindly offered to pay for the cab back from the shoot and so, rummaging for my phone I see that Stickyfinger-Sister has called.
When I returned her communication, I was slapped over the ears with a wall of exited sound.
"JHONNIE CAT! I FOUND SOMEONE PERFECT FOR YOU!" Her face bellows. In our dialect of spinglacantarinish (Spanish/Cantonese/mandarin/English, a language I'm fairly certain only she and I can understand) we discuss this person. I'm going to call him "Old Soul" on this blog. The primary description that gets repeated time and time again, and later by other people, is that he is me with a penis.
I said, ME with a PENIS.
I write a condescending blog all about myself, my life, my friends, and how much me me me there is to go around. In case you haven't realized I am a narcissist.
Please proceed to put two and two together. Or in this case, One and One.
Can I get a hell yeah from any random member of the audience?
You can better you're bottom dollar (and your buttock penny) I ditched Serpiente as fast as Nokia would allow.
...
So the next day my lovely sister introduces us. We meet in the timeless domain of Balalaika LKF, and I must say I agree with Stickyfinger-Sister on her reaction. Bless that girl to bits. Its gotten to the point I don't really need to ask if this or that is a favourite or not with Old Soul.
I had a very long discussion with Stickyfinger-Sister about why I had nicknamed him Blue Jay (in general, not on this blog) - that being because "Blue " = slightly dark or distressed people are more interesting and also J being a letter of relevance.
Although its been settled on some thing else, obv.
...
On another note, a Tramp, Slut, Coquette, Whore, ect. is defined by a female who takes other peoples mates or has more than one at the same time. I realize I've been skirting from both males and females rather quickly but I should like to add this.
None of them had significant others to any degree, never more than one at the same time.
Flower once redefined 'slut' as : 'a woman with the morals of a man'. I'm not sure weather this is right or not. I'd better ask Glinda.
On another note again (thus completing a rather nice chord), I've started my fourth book having finished the first three. Having a Muse again is wonderful.
That's all for now, my kittens. More later.
Turrah.
Jhonnie Cat.
Wednesday 8 April 2009
I Do Believe In Baileys!
My kittens, what tidings...
First of all, my dears, I must teach you all to hunt and kill snakes, like good cats.
Do you remember the individual whom I so fondly nicknamed on this blog, 'Serpiente'?
Well he has managed to aggravate me to a level that eczema would be envious of... he has far outstripped any diaper rash that has ever trailed its woeful spell across the many buttocks of infants worlds wide, in terms or pure irritation.
Okay, I've been good to this one. I have.
A friend of mine is developing a new kind of Jell-O, one that is supposed to resemble a species of cocktail and he needs to do a lot of research for it, including interviewing bartenders. Serpiente (my apparent beau) is the bar tender to Maya. If you want my opinions on wanchai then read a couple posts ago, they are obnoxious and accurate.
I'd set up an interview date.
I was intended to record a piece of music for a very important portfolio, myself being the singer and Serpiente playing the guitar. I can play guitar but he is more accurate if otherwise musically crippled (although he can identify different kind of car by their unique song of flatulence).
I'd set up a date and time for him. I'd also asked him to accompany me as an escort on a gosee (it sometimes not being a good idea to venture into such matters on your own) and he'd agreed. Also another shoot I'd had coming up at the time.
Well he managed to forget all such engagements and appear in affectionate photographs with another girl on facebook over the weekend.
WHAT A GENTLEMAN!
Tell you what though... I'm all rather glad of this.
I may gripe about his misconduct... but truly, better fruits have been born from it.
Thanks to my lovely Sticky-Finger-Sister...
Goddamn that girl is a legend.
See next post for why Serpiente can kiss my sweet asian ass.
All my love, Kittens,
Turrah.
Jhonnie Cat.
First of all, my dears, I must teach you all to hunt and kill snakes, like good cats.
Do you remember the individual whom I so fondly nicknamed on this blog, 'Serpiente'?
Well he has managed to aggravate me to a level that eczema would be envious of... he has far outstripped any diaper rash that has ever trailed its woeful spell across the many buttocks of infants worlds wide, in terms or pure irritation.
Okay, I've been good to this one. I have.
A friend of mine is developing a new kind of Jell-O, one that is supposed to resemble a species of cocktail and he needs to do a lot of research for it, including interviewing bartenders. Serpiente (my apparent beau) is the bar tender to Maya. If you want my opinions on wanchai then read a couple posts ago, they are obnoxious and accurate.
I'd set up an interview date.
I was intended to record a piece of music for a very important portfolio, myself being the singer and Serpiente playing the guitar. I can play guitar but he is more accurate if otherwise musically crippled (although he can identify different kind of car by their unique song of flatulence).
I'd set up a date and time for him. I'd also asked him to accompany me as an escort on a gosee (it sometimes not being a good idea to venture into such matters on your own) and he'd agreed. Also another shoot I'd had coming up at the time.
Well he managed to forget all such engagements and appear in affectionate photographs with another girl on facebook over the weekend.
WHAT A GENTLEMAN!
Tell you what though... I'm all rather glad of this.
I may gripe about his misconduct... but truly, better fruits have been born from it.
Thanks to my lovely Sticky-Finger-Sister...
Goddamn that girl is a legend.
See next post for why Serpiente can kiss my sweet asian ass.
All my love, Kittens,
Turrah.
Jhonnie Cat.
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